A Queen & Her King

I love to see a woman who knows how to love her man. She knows he’s sensitive to her. And she uses that knowledge to build him up.

She responds lovingly to the man that God created him to be. Affirming both who he is – as well as who he is is becoming.

How does she do it? A Queen gives her King something he cannot get anywhere else. She nurtures his heart. Something every man needs. Daily.

Check out these examples.

Queen Theresa

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a meeting led by a man whose teachings had greatly impacted my life. At the end of his presentation, I walked up to thank him for what he had done in accelerating my own spiritual growth.

Within moments, his wife was by his side. As she snuggled his arm with great affection, I gave her a quick, one-sentence summary of what I’d been saying to her husband.

She was all smiles. “Isn’t he great? Have you listened to his talk on _______? It’s the best! Amazing & powerful. I think we have it on the back table. You should get a copy!”

The man had been friendly & cordial up to that point. But he was obviously exhausted.

At the sound of her voice, his face broke into the one of the most joyous smiles I’d ever seen on a man. Her actions & her words were a mirror reflecting how God saw him.

Suddenly he just couldn’t help himself
because he was basking in her reflection of him.

Although he was a gifted speaker, he was an introvert. She was an extrovert. And I had the distinct impression she was rescuing him. I could see how tired he was. But she could feel it.

Queen Cherie

Just this morning, I was watching a video on YouTube. Different guy. One I’d not heard speak before. He asked his wife to come up & pray before he began. As soon as she began to pray, her enthusiasm for the Lord made him smile.

Then she touched her husband’s shoulder & continued, “And, Lord, this amazing, handsome, talented, kind, wonderful,” [paused with her hand on his back and head briefly on his shoulder] “man. God, we just pray, Lord, all of what you have to bring through him. God, we just say yes to that, too.”

His face lit up like a little boy’s on Christmas morning.
One who’d suddenly discovered exactly what wanted under the Tree.

  • I actually replayed this clip several times.
  • Such joy! Such fun! Such pure delight!

Both of these women understood their own man.

  • They knew his hopes & fears.
  • As well as the nature of his sensitivity.
  • And they knew how to nurture his heart.

You can’t love & encourage a man if you don’t take time to get to know his heart at the deepest level possible. It begins with listening closely.

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the House

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the HouseHave you ever wondered how to get your husband to do more around the house? It’s the number one thing women say they want from their man.

So why are we so unsuccessful at eliciting his help? Because we miss the most important factor!

I recently read an impassioned post on Instagram. This lovely young woman had been away at work all day only to come home to chaos.

  • She took a time out, regrouped, and restarted.
  • Her husband went to the gym.

Her advice to women is that they don’t have to do everything perfectly. But it was clear she’d been trying really hard to do just that.

What is the One Thing she could have done that would have made all the difference for her and for her family?

Honestly, as an expert in male psychology, I wasn’t the least bit surprised when she stated, “… then my husband said in the middle of the chaos he was going to the gym.” Men hate confrontation … and women’s angry expectations that men support them in the madness to make everything perfect.

The Truth is:

  • Help around the house is NOT the number one thing every woman wants.
  • What she really wants is to be valued. cherished. loved. more than anything else.

And her husband wants to be her priority as well. Not treated like an employee … or worse yet … one of the kids who needs to get in line with the program.

How to Get Your Husband to Do More Around the House?

When you make your husband – your relationship with your husband – your first priority, he will value, cherish, love you more than anything else on the face of this earth. And he will begin to do more around the house … without being asked.

Learn how to make him your priority without losing yourself!
A Wise Woman’s Guide to Life & Love by Dr. Debi Smith

Resolving Cinderella’s Problem

Resolving Cinderella's ProblemWhat’s a better way of resolving Cinderella’s Problem?

I have often identified with Cinderella. She gets just one brief night of fantasy at The Royal Ball where she falls in love with the Handsome Prince, and he likewise falls in love with her. But then she must return to her life of Poverty and Rejection.

The Resolution of That Story depends upon the Handsome Prince.

Fortunately for Cinderella, the Handsome Prince feels her loss deeply. He cannot live without her, determines to find her no matter the cost, and makes her his wife. Happily ever after.

  • But what if the Problem is not her life of Poverty and Rejection?
  • What if the Problem is the false identity she has accepted?
  • What if the Problem is how she sees herself?
  • As a woman with no value?

Resolving Cinderella’s Problem

Rather than wait for the Prince to rescue her, she would be a Wise Woman to discover her True Identity.

Which – by the way – would make it a lot easier for the Handsome Prince to find her because she would be in plain sight rather than hiding – or being hidden by the lies that have surrounded her. A Double Win!!

learn more about Finding the Lost Princess

How to Be a Godly Woman

how to be a godly womanFor more than a decade, I have been teaching women about biblical, research-based ways to understand and partner with the men they love.

Furthermore, I realized that an awful lot of books written for women fail to (or inadequately) address our biblical partnership with men, especially with our husbands.

Women – in God’s original design – are way more important on this earth than we’ve been led to believe!

More recently I realized that most women – including myself – don’t fully understand our value & our purpose in today’s world.

And that Wisdom is personified as a Woman!

Yes, learning how to be a godly woman is more important on this earth than we’ve been led to believe! It takes wisdom & confidence to be influential for good.

learn more

It really is about the girl.

I’ve been studying men
since I was 4 years old.

But for more than half my life,
I was thoroughly confused by them.

Then I changed my angle to that of
a psychologist & couples counselor.

What I learned
thoroughly surprised me:

It’s really all about the girl.

Who knew, right?

THE BOTTOM LINE: My plan is to help us get what we want!
So check this out & let me know what you think.

p.s I realize that some of my readers are not currently involved in a romantic relationship. Maybe you’re one of them. But if you’re at all interested in enjoying a romance someday, you need to know this stuff. It will help you understand yourself better & help you choose wisely when the time comes.

Dancing the Two-Step

One thing I’ve noticed about my life …
So far, it’s been lived all out of order.

Two steps forward.
One step back.

I left home when I was 2.
Grew up when I was 4.
Became a teacher at 6.

Christian at 8.
Outcast at 12.

Married at 18.
Became a mom at 21
and independent by 35.

Raised three sons.
Enrolled in college
and met my dad at 40.

Went away to grad school.
Became a doctor (not a real one, of course).

Started a career.
Found my vision.

Failed. Again.
And again.

Finally fell in love.

That’s my story.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.