Resolving Cinderella’s Problem

Resolving Cinderella's ProblemWhat’s a better way of resolving Cinderella’s Problem?

I have often identified with Cinderella. She gets just one brief night of fantasy at The Royal Ball where she falls in love with the Handsome Prince, and he likewise falls in love with her. But then she must return to her life of Poverty and Rejection.

The Resolution of That Story depends upon the Handsome Prince.

Fortunately for Cinderella, the Handsome Prince feels her loss deeply. He cannot live without her, determines to find her no matter the cost, and makes her his wife. Happily ever after.

  • But what if the Problem is not her life of Poverty and Rejection?
  • What if the Problem is the false identity she has accepted?
  • What if the Problem is how she sees herself?
  • As a woman with no value?

Resolving Cinderella’s Problem

Rather than wait for the Prince to rescue her, she would be a Wise Woman to discover her True Identity.

Which – by the way – would make it a lot easier for the Handsome Prince to find her because she would be in plain sight rather than hiding – or being hidden by the lies that have surrounded her. A Double Win!!

learn more about Finding the Lost Princess

Dancing the Two-Step

One thing I’ve noticed about my life …
So far, it’s been lived all out of order.

Two steps forward.
One step back.

I left home when I was 2.
Grew up when I was 4.
Became a teacher at 6.

Christian at 8.
Outcast at 12.

Married at 18.
Became a mom at 21
and independent by 35.

Raised three sons.
Enrolled in college
and met my dad at 40.

Went away to grad school.
Became a doctor (not a real one, of course).

Started a career.
Found my vision.

Failed. Again.
And again.

Finally fell in love.

That’s my story.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Be Still & Know

“Satan, the father of lies (John 8:44), will come at you with a thousand negative probabilities, but you always need to remember that a probability has no power. It only becomes powerful when you believe the lie and collapse the probability into an actuality.”

“We feel the pull of the sensory information coming in, but we don’t have to go there. … Our five senses activate an emotional response almost immediately, but if we don’t take the time to process them, the unprocessed emotion will dominate.”

“Our minds need time to understand what our spirits already know.”

~ Dr. Caroline Leaf, Switch on Your Brain:
The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, & Health

The Lord says, “Be still & know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.” PSALM 46:10

Two Responses

We all try to stand strong. Keep a stiff upper lip. Not to be needy or negative. But the truth is, we are all vulnerable. God created us like this. Although it feels like (& is often judged as) weakness.

So what do you do with vulnerability? Not only yours, but other people’s?

There are only two ways to respond to vulnerability. One creates connection & empowers people to become more like person God created us to be. The other response kills us. Dying a slow death in a painful process.

Empathy. We all need it. Even men. In case you are wondering.

Empathy is feeling with someone. Even if that someone is you. Allow the hurt, sadness, & fear to be experienced & expressed. Recalling what you have felt & being willing to sit with another in the same emotional state is perhaps the most precious gift you have to give.

“You know what you have — Jesus, your great High Priest with ready access to God — don’t let that knowledge slip through your fingers. You don’t have a Priest who is out of touch with your experience. He’s been through vulnerability & testing Himself. So walk right up to Him & get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy. Accept His help.” HEBREWS 4:15

Shame. The destructive response.

Shame is an emotion we all experience. But it doesn’t have to become a lifestyle. You don’t have to carry these thoughts with you:

  • You’re not good enough.
  • Who do you think you are?

Shame focuses on who you are. It’s different than guilt, which focuses on your behavior. Something you have (or haven’t) done that you wish you didn’t do (or wish that you did do).

  • Guilt is productive because it can motivate change.
  • Shame is debilitating because it tells you that you cannot change.

Are you unknowingly shaming others?
Perhaps the same way you have been shamed?

  • Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone.
  • The “it sucks to be you” mindset.
  • Superiority. Lecturing.
  • Giving advice.

Yes, we are vulnerable creatures. Shame can destroy us. Whereas empathy destroys shame & sets us free to receive God’s goodness. Jesus made it possible by taking on our shame in Divine Exchange:

“Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours.” ISAIAH 61:7