Difficult People

I spent the better part of the last 18 months in a toxic environment. The woman in charge was fearful. Tight-fisted. Controlling. Max-micro-manager.

She was an emotional bully & my growing disdain for her was understandable.

That is, until the Holy Spirit reminded me of Jesus’ words …

“Love your enemies & pray for those who persecute you.” MATTHEW 5:44

So I began to pray for her. Not because I’m all that great.
But because I was all that desperate.

“Lord, I love WhatsHerName. Please bless her & cause her business to grow. Bring peace to her & her environment so that others will be blessed as well.”

I wish The Lord would have answered my prayers as prayed.
Instead, He chose to change something inside me:

  1. My compassion grew as my frustration & bitterness melted like wax.
  2. My strength grew as the enemy of my soul lost his foothold.

I’ve moved on. But I’m eternally grateful for the experience.

  • Because it taught me a priceless lesson.
  • About the beauty of obedience to The Lord.
  • And the mysterious ways He makes us more like Him.

So pray for those who are giving you a hard time.

Because that reveals your identity as a child of your Heavenly Father, Who is kind to everyone. He brings the sunrise to warm & rainfall to refresh whether a person does what is good or evil.

  • What reward do you deserve if you only love the loveable?
  • Don’t even the greatly-dreaded tax collectors do that?
  • Why limit your kindness to just your friends?
Instead, let The Lord grow His Perfect Love within you.
MATTHEW 5:43-48


I know you worry a lot about your husband. I do, too. Sometimes.

But I’m not in control.
Nor do I want to be.

Because when I try to take control, I automatically limit my life to only what I know. The Lord wants more than that for us both!

I’ve never met a confident woman who wants to be in control of her man. She knows that whatever is attained through self-effort will have to be maintained through self-effort. And she has more enough on her plate already. Her own spiritual life. Her children. Her work.

She needs a partner. Not another project.

A wise woman knows she cannot control her man.
He will resist her. Every time.

He might go along with her in the beginning. Mostly because it just seems easier to go along than to assert himself. At the moment. But there will always come a time – it happens in every marriage – when he no longer follows her lead. Something inside him knows that’s just plain wrong.

That’s why a wise woman knows where to place her confidence.

Trust in The Lord with all your heart & soul.
If you’re trying to control, you’re not trusting.

How can you learn to trust The Lord?

  1. First, you must realize how much He loves you. He loved you first.
  2. You can’t trust love someone you don’t know. So spend time with Him.
  3. He loves you way more than you love yourself. And way, way, way more than you love your man!

Therefore, His plans are always way bigger & way more wonderful than yours! Not only for your man. But also for you!

So hang on to your hat, wise woman.
And get ready for Something Bigger instead!

Never doubt God’s mighty power to accomplish Something Bigger. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, & exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all through His miraculous power. EPHESIANS 3:20

Perfect Partnership

Woman was created for Perfect Partnership.
First & foremost, women are called to Perfect Partnership with Jesus.
We love & nurture because He loves & nurtures us!

In other words, our love for others is our grateful response
to the love God first showed towards us. 1 JOHN 4:14

Your next priority is your partnership with your husband.
Adam needed Eve to be a perfect reflection of God’s image. GENESIS 2:18

So your Heavenly Father has equipped you with everything you need.
Because you were fashioned to be the perfect partner for your husband, too.

Everything you need for a life of devotion has already been deposited in you by God’s divine power. Everything was lavished upon you through the rich experience of knowing Him who called you by name & invited you to come to Him through a glorious manifestation of His goodness. 2 PETER 1:3

God’s desire is for Perfect Partnership. You with Him & through Him.
I’m fully confident in this! PHILIPPIANS 1:6
So if you feel stuck, let me know. I’m here to help.

Guard Your Heart

King Solomon’s Book of Wisdom instructs us to guard our hearts. So what does that look like from a Kingdom perspective? Here are a few items to remember as we consider the possibilities:

  • First we must know who our enemy actually is.
  • Then we must be aware of the ways he attacks our own hearts.
  • Finally we must learn how to thwart his attacks and protect our families.

Dearest Heavenly Father,

Take me deeper into the Truth of who I am. Because before I can know what I am created to do, I must know who I am created to be. Teach me to look into the eyes of Jesus where I will see a reflection of the woman I’m known as in Heaven. I know the real me will always be that woman to you, now & forever. But I want to manifest Heaven’s perspective of me in the here-and-now and thereby impact the earth with Thy-Kingdom-Has-Come today.

You have called me Beautiful. Show me what that looks like, Lord. Let’s Heaven’s reality soak every atom, every particle of my physical being. Flood my soul with Your goodness and wash out the filth the enemy deposited in the vulnerable places of my heart, and fill me with Your light. Flavor my personality with the Beauty of Your indwelling spirit.

I am forever Yours.

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Me First, Lord!

Thank you for this day, Lord. I love waking up excited about You!

Therefore, my heart cries out, “Me first, Lord!”
Today I want all You have for me. I want more of Your

love, wisdom, compassion, understanding, blessing, & kindness.

Because I want to give more away, I never want to run low on The Good Stuff. So I’m asking for more, in full knowledge of

Your Endless Generosity & Your Relentless Kindness.

So then what can I ever give back to You
to repay You for the blessings You’ve poured out on me?
I will lift up the cup of Your salvation & praise You extravagantly
for all that You’ve done for me.
Lord, because I am Your loving servant,
You have broken open my life & freed me from my chains.
I’ll worship You passionately & bring to You
my sacrifice of praise, drenched with thanksgiving!
I’ll keep my promise to You, God,
in the presence of Your people, just like I said I would.

Self-Deception vs. Freedom

Are you living in Freedom today?
Or do you have a tendency to micromanage others?

It’s easy to read Scripture & believe you’ve got it.
But do you actually do what it says?

Being a doer of the Word brings Freedom. To you & those you love.

”Do not merely listen to the Word & so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

“But whoever looks intently into The Perfect Law that gives Freedom, and continues in it not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it they will be blessed in what they do.” JAMES 1:22-25

Time for a Checkup?

No matter where you are in the process of life, it’s good to ask the Holy Spirit to help you evaluate your attitudes & actions using the following verses:

    • “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” MATTHEW 7:1-5

    • Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:4-7

    • It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. GALATIANS 5:1
    • You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” GALATIANS 5:13-14

Desire Spiritual Gifts

How are you using your spiritual gifts?

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.
There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.
There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.

Do you know what your spiritual gifts are?

To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom,
to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
to another faith by the same Spirit,
to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,
to another miraculous powers,
to another prophecy,
to another distinguishing between spirits,
to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,
and to still another the interpretation of tongues.

All these are the work of one and the same Spirit,
and He distributes them to each one, just as He determines.

Follow the way of love and eagerly desire gifts of the Spirit, especially prophecy. For anyone who speaks in a tongue does not speak to people but to God. Indeed, no one understands them; they utter mysteries by the Spirit. But the one who prophesies speaks to people for their strengthening, encouraging and comfort. 1 CORINTHIANS 14:1-3

This is why it is so crucial that we be all the more engaged and attentive to the truths that we have heard so that we do not drift off course. For if the message of the law spoken and confirmed by angels brought a just penalty to every disobedient violation; then how would we expect to escape punishment if we despise the very truths that give us life?

The Lord Himself was the first to announce these things, and those who heard Him firsthand confirmed their accuracy. Then God added His witness to theirs. He validated their ministry with signs, astonishing wonders, all kinds of powerful miracles, and by the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which He distributed as He desired. HEBREWS 2:1-4

Confidence & Goodness

I remain confident of this:
    I will see the goodness of The Lord
    in the land of the living.

Yes, I totally trust in Him to rescue me from my enemies,
    so I can see once again how good He is while I’m still alive!

So why would I fear the future?
    For Your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.
    Then afterward, when my life is through,
    I’ll return to Your glorious presence to be forever with You!  PSALM 23:6

Don’t be fooled by those who speak their empty words and deceptive teachings telling you otherwise. This is what brings God’s anger upon the rebellious! Don’t listen to them or live like them at all.

Once your life was full of sin’s darkness, but now you have the very light of Our Lord shining through you because of your union with Him. Your mission is to live as children flooded with His revelation-light! And the supernatural fruits of His light will be seen in you — goodness, righteousness, and truth. Then you will learn to choose what is beautiful to Our Lord. EPHESIANS 5:6-10

I’m confident in The King of My Heart!
He is Good & He will never let us down!

He’s been Good a long time. And He knows what He’s doing!

Circumstances & Solutions

Have you experienced what you consider to be more than your fair share of failure & disappointment? Most of us have. Consequently, it’s not unusual to experience some depression & anxiety. Perhaps not to the point of being “clinically significant.” But enough to drain our energy.

  • We’re down because something hasn’t gone well.
  • And/or worried about a future that mightn’t be any different.

If those thoughts & feelings have put you in Survival Mode, I can identify with you on so many levels. Yes, like you, I’ve experienced a lot of failure & disappointment. Which often leaves us with a deep sense of inadequacy.

  • You lose all hope.
  • You resolve to just hang on.
  • To try to create the best life possible in your personal Egypt.

In contrast, we may also choose Management Mode. Determined to beat whatever (or whomever) has kept us from our Promised Land.

  • You’ve adopt the popular belief that “if it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
  • So you begin to fight. Often against yourself. And everyone else.
  • Find ways to whip people into shape. Taking charge is your solution.

But what if The Lord already has The Solution in His mind?

Your circumstances – everything you face & will ever face – are there to draw you back to The Lord. He put specific desires in your heart. And He is The Only One Who can fulfill them. He wants more for your life than mere survival. He also knows that if you take charge, you’ll make a big mess. For someone. Probably yourself. And the ones you love.

So what if God isn’t answering your prayers because He has a Solution in mind that’s way better than what you’ve been praying?

  • Why not ask Him what He wants to do? Listen carefully.
  • Then pray accordingly. He’ll answer those prayers! (1 JOHN 5:14-15)

Mindsets & Miracles

We pray for a water-into-wine miracle. However, The Lord knows that first we need new wineskins. Otherwise, we would burst from the expansion. MARK 2:21-22

Receiving new wineskins give us the capacity to receive His new wine.

So much of my work as a psychologist has been helping my clients move from a negative mindset to one that is God-centered. Whether or not they are currently believing Christians. Because we all have learned to evaluate ourselves and others according to human standards. According to what is visible to us in terms of behavior & success as we have believed it to be.

We dream of miracles & fail to recognize the mindsets that keep us stuck.

It’s as though we have blinders on. And removing them can become a lengthy process. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are a several tips to help you redeem the time of your own development. They all involve your active cooperation with The Holy Spirit.

  1. Ask for a spirit of wisdom & revelation, instead of the mindset you now have. EPHESIANS 1:17-18
  2. Read or listen to the Scriptures every day, expecting an expansion of your understanding as you go. ISAIAH 55:8-9
  3. Meditate upon the fact that His mercies never end. LAMENTATIONS  3:22-23
  4. Remember that He has far more in store for your life than you could ever imagine. EPHESIANS 3:20
  5. Surround yourself with others who want to grow in The Lord. Find a spiritual mentor for yourself or join a group of like-minded Christians. HEBREWS 10:25